Six years and about nine months ago today, Danny was carving our first pumpkin as a married couple. I asked him to stop for a minute so I could show him the pregnancy test I had just taken. positive. wow. Here we go. I don't remember the exact words, but I remember the feeling. I was beyond thrilled. Our honeymoon baby would be with us well before our 1st anniversary. Over the next nine months I would encounter people assuming and even daring to say to my face things insinuating that I had been pregnant before our marriage. It was hurtful. In addition to that, I would get comments from people about how we were "moving to fast" and how we "should have taken your time." Praise the Lord that in addition to all of the people that spoke dread, fear and curses over our precious pregnancy were the sweet family and friends that rejoiced with us and immediately started loving our little angel. It was a long nine months with a very sick, pregnant new bride. I was teaching school, throwing up an unimaginable amount of the time, and sure I knew exactly the kind of mother I would be. I remember saying to my friends "I've babysat for years, I've taught kindergarten, I've seen good parents and bad ones. I know EXACTLY how to be a good mom." I laugh now as I remember it. And cringe. How could I have been so arrogant and naive? I had no clue.
Six years ago today I went into the hospital scared to death about the delivery that I knew was coming. The nurses, Dr.s, and my husband had strict instructions. #1 rule for my husband: "I cannot be left alone at any point" I told him, "Don't leave my side for a second." Twelve hours later, at 8:05 PM, I was in an OR having a c-section and didn't know the sex of my baby yet. I was so cold and I remember the weight of the heated blanket on top of me. I was in and out from the sedatives they had given me, but I jerked awake when I heard the cry. I looked at my husband.
"go ahead and tell mom, Dad" the Nurse said.
"It's a girl!" Danny said.
"Ruthie?" I asked.
"Ruthie." he said.
I cried as he brough
t her over to me, clean and wrapped at this point. immediately I knew a love I only thought I knew when she was living in my womb. This love was something I had never felt before. They went to take her to do all the stuff they do to newborns and I looked at Danny who was standing beside me. As instructed. "Go with her" I said "don't leave her side for a second." I knew at that moment that I no longer mattered. It no longer mattered that I was left in a room to have my uterus and abdomen sewn back together with no one by my side. Now, SHE MATTERED MORE. I knew that for the rest of my life I would lay down my own desires, wants and needs to love and protect this precious child. Becoming a mother changed me.
t her over to me, clean and wrapped at this point. immediately I knew a love I only thought I knew when she was living in my womb. This love was something I had never felt before. They went to take her to do all the stuff they do to newborns and I looked at Danny who was standing beside me. As instructed. "Go with her" I said "don't leave her side for a second." I knew at that moment that I no longer mattered. It no longer mattered that I was left in a room to have my uterus and abdomen sewn back together with no one by my side. Now, SHE MATTERED MORE. I knew that for the rest of my life I would lay down my own desires, wants and needs to love and protect this precious child. Becoming a mother changed me.
Ruthie was born to parents barely in their twenties who had hardly learned anything about living life, and knew even less about being married or raising children. We have made many mistakes and I'm sure have many more to make, but by the grace of a very loving God, today we have a wonderful, well adjusted, smart, kind, energetic, loving 6 yea
r old. I love my Ruthie for who she is, for what she is becoming, for the things God is already doing in her heart and in her life. I love how fun-loving she is, the way she thinks, the funny things she says and does, the amazing lessons I have learned because of her. I love watching her be a big sister, an oldest daughter, a leader. I love when she is independent and I love when she needs and wants her Mom to help her. I love that she loves to learn and read and that she loves to play and be silly. I love that she adores nature and appreciates so much about God's creation at such a young age. I loved watching her pull up for the first time, take her first steps, speak her first words, go to her first birthday p
arty, make her first friend. I loved watching her color her first picture, pet her first animal, sleep in her first "big girl" bed. I loved watching her ride a horse for the first time, go to her first day of school, accept Christ as her savior. I have loved watching my baby grow into a beautiful child...inside and out.
r old. I love my Ruthie for who she is, for what she is becoming, for the things God is already doing in her heart and in her life. I love how fun-loving she is, the way she thinks, the funny things she says and does, the amazing lessons I have learned because of her. I love watching her be a big sister, an oldest daughter, a leader. I love when she is independent and I love when she needs and wants her Mom to help her. I love that she loves to learn and read and that she loves to play and be silly. I love that she adores nature and appreciates so much about God's creation at such a young age. I loved watching her pull up for the first time, take her first steps, speak her first words, go to her first birthday p
arty, make her first friend. I loved watching her color her first picture, pet her first animal, sleep in her first "big girl" bed. I loved watching her ride a horse for the first time, go to her first day of school, accept Christ as her savior. I have loved watching my baby grow into a beautiful child...inside and out.Happy Birthday, Ruthie!
