My Funk

I cannot believe that I'm coming up on the one month marker of the last time I blogged. Wasn't my New Years Resolution to blog more?? I think it's the word "year" in New years resolution that overwhelms me. A year is overwhelming when I think about it all at once. So I have a new plan! A February resolution. I resolve to blog once a week during the month of February. Let's see if this line of thinking works better for me! My blogging is obviously a work in progress, which so am I, and that's actually what I have been thinking about tonight...


Besides being overwhelmed by the scary "year" word, I will be honest and tell you that I have been in such a funk the last couple of weeks! A funk that no amount of coffee, facebook, TV or even pioneer woman cooking could fix. And let me just say, for anyone that has never tried her cinnamon rolls, chicken spaghetti or meatballs that is QUITE. A. FUNK. There are not many funks that woman's food can not fix. Or at least take your mind off of for awhile.

For several days I was trying to figure out if I was in the middle of a hormonal funk or a spiritual funk and finally decided it was both. As women, when we are in a hormonal funk, it seems to make our spiritual warfare that much more difficult. Or is it only me? When my feelings feel so real and so justified and so true, how do I keep them in check? How do I NOT live out of my feelings? And it's when I'm feeling down, of course, that a lie from Satan will hit me and instead of "taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one", I tend to just agree with the lies (fiery darts) that are being thrown my way.

I hear a lie like... "you're not good enough", "this is just your lot in life" or "no one understands me" and instead of taking up the shield of faith and distinguishing those fiery darts with the TRUTH like...'I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength", "All things work together for the good of those who love him and have been called according to his purpose" or "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms", I let that thought take up residence in my mind.

And then I go a step further by believing it. I believe a lie from none other than my enemy. My enemy that I know wants only to kill, steal and destroy me. It's like superman believing something that Lex Luther says. Not that I'm superman. But you get the point. I hope. I choose to agree with my enemy and by agreeing with him I live like what he says is true.

Saying it now, out loud, it seems so silly. But so often I do just that. I accept the lie as truth, which makes me feel like the lie is true, which makes me act like the lie is true which makes me LIVE LIKE THE LIE IS TRUE. God forbid! Right? God forbid that I live like a lie straight out of hell is TRUE. So what do I do? How do I get out of this ugly cycle?

I am convinced that freedom from believing these lies comes from 2 Corinthians 10:5..." we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." The freedom is in capturing those thoughts, those lies from satan before they play out in our lives as truth. We capture them at the threshold of the mind. We recognize the ploys of an enemy who "walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." Right there, in the instant that a lie pops into our head, we confront it with the truth. So much easier said than done! For me, anyway. I honestly say to you that this is a struggle for me. It is a struggle for me to, in the moment, recognize a lie for a lie and confront it with the truth. But that is my prayer. I am determined to stand firm and trust my God, rely on my God and believe my God. No longer will I beleive my enemy. I will beleive my God.